If you read my last blog post about the embryo transfer, you’ll remember I left off with the “two week wait.” Two days after the transfer, I took a weekend trip with my toddler to visit some family, which helped take my mind off the whole thing and made time pass a bit faster. But the day I got back, I couldn’t help myself and took a home test at 4.25 days post transfer. Sure enough, a faint positive showed up! We were pregnant!
I couldn’t wait for the beta test to be able to share the news with my IPs. I kept taking tests every day to be reassured (if you become a surrogate and join some of the online groups, you’ll see this is a common thing we do). Probably the most exciting moment of that year was getting to tell my IPs the great news.
Pregnancy as a surrogate is not any different aside from the fact that you take some medications up until the end of your first trimester. Once heartbeat is confirmed, you “graduate” to your OB, and all your appointments are the same as if you were having your own baby, except that your IPs may want to accompany you. At 9 weeks I had the genetic screening blood test that is common with women over 35 (even though the baby wasn’t conceived with my egg, I qualified for the test since I was over 35). That test gave us the all-clear on genetic abnormalities, and told us that my IPs were having a girl. I had the anatomy scan at 20 weeks where they take all the measurements of all the baby’s organs and limbs. From then on, appointments every four weeks.
Outside the appointments, though, was a bit different. Once I started showing, of course people assumed it was mine (think about it – do you ever see a pregnant woman and wonder if she’s a surrogate?). I found myself constantly explaining the situation. Most people in New York have never met a surrogate and were fascinated by it (“How…how do you become…impregnated??” “It’s called a transfer and it’s done at a fertility clinic.” “Are you going to be okay giving up a baby??” “It’s not my baby and I’m actually just giving it back.”). You will probably get a lot of questions, but how you respond is up to you. It’s no one’s business but yours and your IPs’.
I had enjoyed being pregnant with my own daughter, but knowing I wasn’t planning on having any more of my own children, it was interesting being pregnant knowing I wouldn’t have to take care of an infant after I delivered. I’d be able to eat and sleep immediately afterwards and recover at home while my three-year-old spent her days at preschool. Be sure to read my next post to learn more about birth and recovery as a surrogate.