If you’re considering becoming a surrogate, it’s important not to forget about your spouse. You should talk to your spouse and make sure they’re on board. If they have questions you can’t answer, we’re happy to set up a time to talk directly to your spouse to explain the surrogacy process and their role and answer any questions they may have. (You can also share this blog post with them).
Here are the main things your spouse will need to do throughout the surrogacy process:
- Attend the pre-match meeting with the intended parents (it’s important that your spouse likes and get along with them too!)
- Undergo a medical screening at the fertility clinic (to make sure your spouse doesn’t have any STDs or communicable diseases that could harm the baby)
- Participate in the psychological screening with the social worker (to make sure your spouse is on the same page about the surrogacy journey and the tough issues like abortion)
- Review the surrogacy agreement and ask any questions they have of your attorney (and then sign the agreement)
- Agree in the surrogacy agreement to support you in all of your obligations under the agreement and not to claim any parental rights to the baby
- Not have sexual relations with anyone but you (hopefully that’s an easy one to abide by!)
- Not travel to a Zika-infected area until the baby is born
- Help you out as needed during the pregnancy (but remember you’ll have help with childcare, housekeeping and meal preparation if you end up on bed rest or physical limitations)
- Share in the joy at the hospital when the baby is born!
If you are still married but separated from your spouse, you should bring that up to NYSC early in the process so we can determine whether you can move forward without your spouse’s involvement. It will depend on your specific circumstances and varies based on your state of residence.
If you are in a committed relationship but not married to your partner, they do not legally have to participate in the surrogacy process and will not sign the surrogacy agreement. However, the fertility clinic will still likely want them to undergo STD/communicable disease testing and we would love to have them involved in the rest of the process too because they will be an important part of your support system throughout your surrogacy journey!