Month 2 took an unexpected turn. We learned at our 7 week ultrasound checkup that there was only one heartbeat. Unfortunately, Baby B didn’t make it. As devastated as I was to be going through the emotions of this for the very first time, my heart literally broke for both of the parents. This was a loss that my IPs had become far too accustomed to and not at all what I wanted them to experience during our journey together. In a sense, I felt like I had failed them. It shifted my perspective a great deal and made me hold tight to the WHY behind my journey. Every single IP that begins their journey to parenthood via Surrogacy is so deserving of these sweet babies that we hope to have the opportunity to deliver them.
As the month pushed on, so did we. We continue to focus on the precious baby we get to keep nourishing and continue to be grateful for the journey that we hope will continue.
We are scheduled to continue seeing CNY each week until about 11 weeks and then we will be released for regular visits with my OB. Each week has been a little scarier because the fear has quickly set in. The “what ifs” that I personally never experienced with any of my keeper pregnancies are sitting front and center.
The PIO shots, vaginal suppositories and the majority of other meds I have been on since the beginning are still happening at this point. So each weekly visit they are doing a blood draw to check that my levels are still looking good. My Intended Mother has joined several of our appointments which has been really nice. We have established quite the friendship and I consider myself pretty fortunate to have. She sends cards and gifts in the mail often letting me know that she’s always thinking of me and forever grateful. It is truly so special.
I am hoping our 2nd trimester relieves a lot of the sickness that lingers throughout the day right now :)