Medical clearance was a whirlwind of a day. We flew from Ohio to NYC. I had breakfast with the intended mom and spent 3 hours at the fertility clinic. They explained the risks, interviewed sexual history, took a lot of blood, and did a saline ultrasound and physical. My bloodwork came back low for Vitamin D and I had a high white blood cell count. I performed repeat labs, and my white blood cell count was still slightly higher than normal. I had to have another follow up appointment with my PCP for medical clearance.
Another hurdle…They wanted my BMI to be below 30. I was 4 pounds over. My clinic and NYSC were great at supporting me asking the intended mom to pay for Pilates classes. I have always wanted to go to the reformer Pilates club in my area. I loved it and lost 17 lbs. with minimal effort.
Psych clearance… We started psych with a few delays. We had to find a practitioner licensed in New York and Ohio. We had to have 2 separate psychologists. We did my individual psychology evaluation and then my psychological professional sent my evaluation to my intended mom’s psychological professional. We were then scheduled for group psychology. That’s when everything started going downhill with my journey with my Intended Mom.
The intended mom started to panic in her ability to cope with the challenges of life as a single mom. There was a lot of back and forth between Joe and I who was very supportive all along the way…Ultimately it resulted in the intended mom backing out, of no fault of mine…This was a big emotional set back. I had worked so hard and became so attached…
Dun Dunn Dun….
Time for a new match. Per my request, Joe and the NYSC team helped me match with a couple who was working with the same clinic. It seems like it was meant to be. There was a couple who’s surrogate just failed medical clearance… With Joe’s support, we set up a new match meeting. I felt a little more prepared for the meeting but also a bit more guarded. We agreed to match. I learned that visual communication with the Intended Parents is important in bonding and decreasing miscommunications.
I have had weekly FaceTime calls with the Intended Parents this time around and it makes a difference.