The matching phase started with a zoom call with Joe. I was so nervous; we had talked on the phone before but this time felt more official; it would be the beginning of really starting surrogacy! The call was very nice and laid back. Joe has a unique ability to make everyone feel natural and comfortable. We went over what to expect from here, what expenses I would have to travel (i.e. child care and wage reimbursements), and what I did and didn’t want in IPs. My list wasn’t very long. I just wanted to be matched with someone who didn’t have the option of carrying for themselves, not international, and of course that we would get along.
After the call, he sent over my profile so I could look over it and make sure all of the information was correct and it looked how I wanted it to. After we confirmed my profile, he sent me the first 2 profiles for IPs! I was so excited; I ran downstairs to show my husband (he works from home)! It was heartbreaking to see what some people have had to go through, and it made me want to be a surrogate even more. Right away one couple stuck out to me, they already had a little kid but desperately wanted another, their profile ticked all the boxes of IPs I wanted to help. However, I was very nervous and unsure about asking to meet with one of the first couples I saw. So, I asked Joe if he would send me a couple more, and after seeing them, I was sure about the first couple, and that I wanted to meet them! Joe reached out to them and found out that they had a friend offer to carry for them! That was wonderful news for the couple but meant I would have to keep looking.
Initially, I requested new IPs, because I didn’t have an “instant connection” or an “ahaaa moment”. As I was talking to one of the ladies from Surrogacy Is she told me that it hardly ever happens that way. We only get to see a portfolio of the couple, with very little on them. So, I talked it out with her, and I had a feeling on 2 of them that we wouldn’t get along, as one had requested that I wouldn’t want to agree to and the other seemed to have a very different lifestyle. The 3rd checked all of the boxes but they have dual citizenship and I worried about it turning into an international surrogacy should they choose to move overseas. She encouraged me to talk to Joe more and get more information on them, and see if he thought that would be a concern.
After talking with Joe and getting more information on the couple, we decided to do a match meeting as long as they didn’t have any plans on taking an extended trip overseas or moving there before the baby would be born. About a day later Joe emailed me to let me know that they wanted to do the match meeting as well and that they would not be moving at all or traveling for extended periods during the pregnancy! Before we could meet Joe sent my medical info to their IVF clinic to make sure there was nothing in my file so that they wouldn’t approve me, that way no one gets too attached just for the clinic to object. I was excited to have my first potential match, but a little skeptical about how it would go.
About a week later, Joe emailed saying the clinic preliminarily approved me and we could do our match meeting! We scheduled it about a week out and I was getting more excited every day! The meeting was the IPs, Joe, my husband, and myself. When the match meeting happened, it could not have gone better! Joe facilitated it, helped break the ice, and made sure we went over things like expectations on communication before, during, and after pregnancy. We all had so much in common and were on the same page with all of the big questions! After the meeting, my husband and I both knew right away that we wanted to help this couple! I texted Joe to let him know, they agreed and we matched that same night! I am so thankful that I ended up doing a match meeting with them. Matching wasn’t what I had thought it would be, but it turned out better than I ever expected! My IPs and I text frequently and I am beyond excited to get to be part of their journey!